DILEMMA!

I don't know if I should be happy or upset. Many things have been happening in my life lately and it really screwed up my whole entire life. I'm so sick and tired of everything. What should I do now? I'm in a dilemma. If only I have the courage to end everything once and for all, but sadly, I can't let go. I'm not going to brood over this already. I'll let fate decide, I'll let God make a decision for me. To whoever it may concern, give me a break. Seriously, FML.