Am I really born in this world to disappoint my loved ones? Am I really born in this world to make my loved ones upset all the time? Am I really born in this world just to bring unhappiness to my loved ones?
Sometimes, I just do not understand why I've such a screwed up life. Time and time again, after many promises I made to myself, I still hurt the one I love. Sometimes I wonder, why do I have to be sorry when I'm not the one at fault, when I didn't do anything wrong to cause your unhappiness. But come to think of it, you have to give and take in a relationship, no? We both gave in no matter whose fault it was. I'm thankful to you for having to swallow down all those shit just to make things better for us. I'm always the reason why we quarrel. Why? Why can't I be a better person? Why can't I just stop hurting the people around me? I realized something throughout these few days while thinking. I can be a good friend, but can never be a good girlfriend. I can do so much for someone but in the end screwing up my chances and ruining everything. Not only ruined my image in him but also ruined myself. I tried so hard but in the end, I screwed up with my own hands. I really don't know what to do anymore.
Give me some advice people. Am I in the wrong to stop the person I love fulfill his dreams? His dream since Secondary school. I feel like a jerk when I told him I didn't like it, but I really didn't mean to. Part of me feels like telling him to go ahead but the other part of me tells me not to. I really don't want to see him unhappy but I know if I didn't stop him, I'll regret. I don't want to be upset about it after he pursue his dreams. I really hope he will be happy but I just can't bring myself to tell him, "Carry on baby".
I'm in a state of dilemma now. I fucking hate everything that is coming in my way now. How can I make things better? Or rather, can I even make things better? Sometimes I just wished I never existed, maybe everyone would be happier without me around.
This post goes out to all my readers. Please give me some advice.
Babylove, would you be happier if I said, "Carry on"? If so, maybe you should just go ahead. My acknowledgement is nothing. If you would be happier this way then baby, carry on. I'll give you my blessings.
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